I know, right? Please tell your husband that intractable pain of any kind needs to be seen. NTA, this is horrible. It's just a prank after all?! Hiding lifesaving medicine? Send them this article. You should have charged them for that and shutting this shit before the incident. Right. Yeah youre not the asshole for that but you are the asshole. Would they have waited to see if he could start breathing on his own like a real man? in addition to all of this also remember that there is a reason why married men live longer and the "nagging" wife who insists that they go see a doctor is a huge part of why. Zero percent chance theyd do any of this to someone who could actually take them. Clear vandalism and harassment, and Im pretty sure some kind of theft charge could be leveled against them on the inhaler. Do you live in some backwoods place? Does he have to die before you're willing to go no contact? The spelling errors are driving me insane. They are criminals acts and dangerous abuse. They hid an inhaler from someone with asthma. Now I'm not saying violence is the answer, but I wonder how they'd react if Tim resorted to violence. This doesn't even seem like bullying this seems like they're legit trying to kill himslashing his tyres? Guarantee hes hoping youre that kind of person, OP. That's a prank. Hiding an inhaler? If someone slashed my tires they are paying or i am calling the police.the men in your family are immature bullies. Has still he come backOK I am calling the police..God I hope nothing has happened to him.. You're family doesn't know the definition of "prank". They don't deserve To go. They hid his inhaler???? Your family's version of what a "real man" is, is twisted. And at some point your family are going to crack your relationship with your fiance right through, because contact is always going to feel to him that you're condoning it and secretly agreeing. Thats HUGE. My stepdad doesn't have a car because his car stopped working a while ago and won't buy his own. Are there other men in their circle? This is NOT pranking its bullying pure and simple. Back your fiance and be in his corner. I myself have an in law I do not like but noone would ever know it because I respect and love my brother. You need to put a stop to it and you should have put a stop it long time ago. Just a quick reminder to never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one. I really hope they paid for the damage when they slashed his tyres. My brother freaked out saying it was a prank and they were going to give it back, Dad said they'll apologize if I insist but Tim will have lost the little respect they'd gained for him and in their eyes will always be "the soft college kid" who's not up for the challenge. Your family members' actions (all of them, not just the inhaler stuff) are idiotic, unwarranted, and demeaning. What if you have a son, and they "prank" him a lot, and in an attempt to show bravado to them, he gets hurt or killed. Your family is a bunch of assholes. Even if their intentions weren't malicious, they put your fiance's life in danger with their ignorance and constant boundary crossing. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. You suck too btw. You have some choices to make, and your male relations are 100% on the hook for that. They're just bullying your fiance because they don't like him I assume. Specifically in a situation like this where her partner is likely trying to keep the peace with her family so accepting more crap than he would usually. TPing a house is a prank. Im surprised youre the first person to say all this. Dad and his cronies are all abusive assholes. It's like they're out of It's Always Sunny. Also making someone play chess naked is weird. madera county sheriff log 2022 cigna stock price history; hornby r3207. Wow :/, honestly OP is the asshole, for being too soft with her parents and allowing this shit to happen, This is exactly what I came here to say. This could have escalated into something as harsh as attempted murder. They never thought lesser of me for being a woman, or my best friend for being gay. This is bullying and real dangerous stuff. They are absolutely brilliant in other ways and some of the kindest people I know. There's a reason there's quite a lot of these shops, tires are heavy, can be difficult to adjust correctly and you wouldn't wanna risk your life just cause you aren't 100% sure you did everything perfectly. I'm firmly with you on banning them from the wedding (and, honestly, everything else too). Unless there are dramatic and unlikely changes, Tim is signing up for a lifetime of misery. I moved out and left them to take care of my younger brothers by themselves and went full no contact for years. Knowledge and wisdom are threatening to people with small minds. And you are most definitely NTA. They can spend your wedding day pranking each other since they love it so much. What would they have done if he got sick or died? Send them all links for information about consequences of their behaviour regarding his inhaler. The "men" in your family are just a bunch of bullies. Also this is really concerning that you dont see that aspect. I have been rude and made my fair share of mistakes. They made their living off the land and were proud of that. Filing a police report would be justified, but only so theres a paper trail in case they continue to harass him. Someone should teach these men a lesson. as i mentioned, the money isnt really the issue, its more just how she did it. NTA. NTA. They might try to pull a family play where none of your family comes if they don't. INFO: how does your fianc feel? If they don't go NC, I can definitely see cousins bullying her children for being "soft" because their dad and grandpa said Uncle Tim is soft, too. She's not an asshole for being related to shitty people. He might not be at that point yet, but he is getting VERY close. I know plenty of men that cant hunt, fish or turn a wrench and you know what? Stick with your fianc, start your own family and use them as examples of what not to turn out like. They're the ones that have broken the trust. My god. Cut them off, OP. You mean the spine that only materialized when her fianc couldve actually died after having already been viciously tormented for years while she apparently just stood back with the occasional protest? He was my hero. Tell him they're for his wife or next of kin. Mom needs to be told to butt out or shes next to be banned. Just they just seem like big bullies to me. Do you guys have kids? I would contact to acquire an admission of guilt and then take them to court. Pranking is meant to be HARMLESS fun. NTA, that's not typical "men stuff", your dad, uncle, brother and cousin are bullies. Welcome to the end times. So basically your family members thought it'd be funny to see him end up in a life threatening situation. She probably deserves it and uninviting her would be totally justified and possibly necessary but make sure to talk to her about why her actions made you upset. What they have done to him is downright CRIMINAL. My stepdad and I have a very good relationship. They should see how horrifying it is for someone to slowly lose oxygen and suffocate to death, and then ask them if it was funny. But take my inhaler (if I have it) and you are a problem. NTA. Your fianc could have died! (Think judgmental) So I did my darndest to keep him away from them. I'd press charges in the same situation honestly. Oh wait. Support your fianc and ditch your shitty family. NTA- tell your Dad you have 0 respect for him and if he needs to bully someone to feel like a real man he needs to realise what a small man he really is. (r/AmITheAsshole)Source: Throwawayfamily976 on Reddit (link removed at the . This isn't much different from slipping someone a food you KNOW they're allergic to. So, in theory my lung could open up more. Your family sucks. At what point during his asthma attack would they be able to tell if he was being soft or if it was real? You are protecting your fiance from bullies. You just gotta stop being so sensitive. Nothing worse than telling a funny story and everyone goes quiet and looks sad at you. Tim has your approval. NTA but considering the shit theyve put him through even before the inhaler prank, Im surprised it took you this long to put your foot down. The blaming is another form of abuse (like aftershocks from an earthquake). you're acting like a responsible adult, he's acting like a spoiled child. Ask them who was going to take responsibility if he died. Not to mention, it would be a pain in the A to replace them and probably balance them without the equipment of a shop - still possible but probably take a lot longer. Ask them how they would like mug shots and restraining orders and if THOSE, decorating your guest sign in table, would increase their respect for you as a couple. Do they not know how many people die from asthma attacks? NTA. Cousin asked if "little timmy ran to me to tattle". That's a girl color! Maybe don't also make fun of his name and add to the problem? They are driving a wedge. Cool flex I guess? It's no joke and can be severely deadly. Poor Tim. For more information, please see our This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. He TOLD ME that hed be taking my car and I should take the train. I'm surprised he wanted to go on a 3 day trip with them after everything else they've done to him. Learning good boundaries and keeping them is key. We had multiple meetings and conversations to mend our relationship where he'd shed crocodile tears but we'd always end up having a blowout argument where he would say awful things and we wouldn't speak for months. I call this sort of thing radioactive stupidity. Hill to die on is a good metaphor because an asthmatic can die without his inhaler. And if my husband had asthma dad would lower his expectations, not attempt murder. OP, if you don't protect your future husband from that disgusting behaviour, you don't deserve him. I, on the other hand got to live with my stepdad more since I'm the youngest and we established a somewhat stable relationship. They have no respect for either of you or your relationship. Your bf seems very chill and must love you very much to have put up with treatment like that. Yeah, it can range in severity. Do you really need these people and their defenders in your life? NTA. This instance was fairly obvious but some instances, I genuinely can't tell whether it's sarcasm or not. Slashing tires and hiding necessary medical equipment are not 'pranks'- they are being wilfully malicious to your fiancee and attempting to pass it off as pranking so you don't call them out for their less-than-human behavior. I definitely would have pressed charges. Nice people don't let their partners be abused by their family. Yes. NTA, the only typical thing about this is typical mail toxic behaviour. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. When I was 14 my parents got divorced. They could have killed him. Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. Jesus christ NTA they sound awful. Your male family members sound like toxic sexist AH, who love bullying under the pretense of how manly they are. Destroying property too? You need to make your choice now, its your family - who will probably run off any other man you bring home unless they're as messed up as your family - or your fiance. They were testing your boundaries, seeing what they could get away with doing and when there were no consequences, they escalated until it culminated in a life threatening event. why would you even want to remain family with a bunch of hazing, assaulting assholes? I am a woman who grew up in a very masculine family. I loved her at first but quickly I realized she wasnt everything I had thought. They punch down, not up. Or things kids do not realizing how serious it can be. Tires are expensive where Im from, so that would be an expensive prank for the victim. If youre having children, what will these men do to them, particularly if you have Tims son? They have proven they are willing to risk his life. It seems uour fiance has been rejected from the toxic masculinity club. Youre 3 god damn it! Don't let his presence tarnish a day that is meant to celebrate how amazing and strong you are. People who want to help in your life are very rare, and should be appreciated, or even cherished. Family up and ruined the relationship with her and her apparently saintly fiance who still wants to marry her after all of this and hasn't had these people arrested. Seriously. That how they drained mine, too, so maybe I got the wrong term there. They could and should be arrested for slashing tires and hiding the inhaler. 5th house stellium meaning; how to handle being dumped with dignity; send a wave on facebook; international scout.He wrote: " AITA for uninviting my mom from my . If YOU don't drive a wedge between you and your family over this, what kind of partner would you be? NTA like at all. NTA, You set a healthy boundary with your family (which is difficult to do) and they violated that. But that is your SO's access to AIR. Everyone thinks asthma is no serious thing. I say elope. Time to cut these assholes out of your life. Otherwise leave Tim and let him find someone that will respect him enough to not let her family torture. NTA at all. I was still taking care of my younger brothers. From expensive property damage to verbal abuse to life threatening actions. It doesn't look dangerous to them when you're wheezing from an attack. I'd have noped out much sooner no matter how much I liked a guy. I already knew that answer after you said they slashed his tires, NTA. Sounds like a bunch of dumb hicks bullying a city boy. Yta for letting them do this to him for so long, but absolutely not NTA for uninviting them. Thats not an excuse, honestly. Will they get the same abuse? These men are going to end up killing him. You're siblings are just pissed because now they'll be targeted. I hate to say it, but she set him up for it. At the time I commented, pretty much everyone was saying NTA. NTA. NTA. If you want to save your relationship you need to keep Tim away from your family, I'd go no contact myself. OP your brother father and uncle all sound terrible with a very strange idea of what constitutes manliness. Typical snowflakes if you ask me. "Family" doesn't mean anything. Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. And I had immediate access to my medication. My dads girlfriend at the time started getting more and more demanding. So I 28f am getting married to the love of my life. This is extremely serious; he could have died. They might be trying to kill him, asthma is no joke. Literally willing to risk everything to be with you. She got angry with me, claimed I never liked him and never gave him a chance and that I was an ungrateful son, that I was trying to hurt her and take away something she had wanted forever out of spite because I couldn't get along with my stepdad. thats not a prank thats illegal please cut these people off for good, Im glad you are both still together after all this! I know I'd be done after the tire slashing incident. I advise you to go NC with your family. Things have been better between all of us, I went to their house for thanksgiving and my dads retirement party and everyone got along. Thats near abuse. These are the intensifyingly cruel acts of a mob towards someone they view as an outsider. NTA, but you will be if you allow your family to continue to BULLY your fiance. Op's SO is much more patient than mine would be. Tim should have filed a Police report!! These aren't pranks, these are attacks. OP wonder this..what happens if and when you have a child specially if it's a boy. Slashing tires? Youre NTA but you will be if you force your future husband to be around them. Clearly youre not and your family are acting deranged. Doesn't make him soft, The men in your family are obviously deeply insecure, if they feel the need to hide someone's medicine so they can get one over on the "college kid". NTA. Damn he must love you to have continued to be abused. Stick to your guns. What if he had an asthma attack whilst driving back to you. I hope she learns to put him before her extended family. They fucked up. And PLEASE hire security for your wedding. Then block their asses. For the people telling OP that shes TA for not cutting off sooner, please understand that for most people that grow up in this type of environment we become slightly apathetic to it and make excuses cause we think its NORMAL. NTA, I have asthma and that's no joke. Go slash their tires and egg their cars. They literally slashed his tires? Once, when I was hospitalized, I was suddenly unable to breathe due to fluid in my lungs- thanks pneumonia- and it was one of the most terrifying things I've ever experienced. They shouldnt come. Hiding an inhaler? And stick up for your fianc. I basically told him that if he is considering not coming then dont even bother. Honestly we should make a sister sub for AITA. Timmy didn't drive the wedge between you and your family. Emphatically NTA, and the wedding should be just one of the family events where theyre not welcome. So according to your family, I (a woman) am a man cause I can fix tires, cause obviously that's a manly man thing and not just a question of interests and acquired skills? It's their property". This needs to be your hill to die on before your fiance really actually dies. They probably don't realize how fucked up it is. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. They separated and very shortly after my dad started dating a women. And to also add that theyre belittling his mental health too. I wouldn't be surprised if intentionally hiding a medical device is illegal too, it certainly should be. Some people live paycheck to paycheck and this could break them. Also, ask them in case of your fiancs asthma getting worse medically if he would have been rushed to hospital which one of them would be manly enough to cover all the bills and charges. I think you had every right to call them out and univite them; their response says it all. If you feel you need your inhaler, you need your inhaler NOW. Exactly. Dude's absolutely like this with avoiding healthcare of any kind (conspiracy nut who's spiraled imo in the last few years) and has bullshit rules about what he (and others) "should" be doing instead of "being lazy". Vandalism of property. Lived well past those issues. NTA. NTA. NTA. A prank leaves people laughing all together over something silly and stupid. Stealing his inhaler and dragging him out into the wilderness?? Again, keep in mind him and I have never once hung out one on one just strictly in social settings. His worth js as a humannot reliant on their approval or testing. I mean what was the challenge supposed to be exactly? Im surprised hes stuck around so long. These aren't pranks. I just cant believe people can be like this. They're not joking, they are asshole bullies. Wow, what the fuck?? NTA. Cut them out of the wedding and your life. I cant stand it when the abuser(s) &/or their enabler(s) try to blame the victim(s) for familial rifts simply because the victim refuses to continue to be abused. Fuck that noise. Came here to say thismy tires are expensive afthis isnt a prank its a crime, Not to mention slashing tires is a straight up crime. NTA these are not pranks, this is just immature and terrible behavior. Everyone here takes the right choice as a foregone conclusion, but Id spend days having a panic attack if that was thrust on me. Also expect your mom might say she isn't going if they don't. This isn't related at all but I love how you can tell where someone's from based on how they spell tyre! He could press charges for that. Wtf ! Being punished isnt going to make them sorry, its going to make them mad. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. They need to massively apologize. Your male relatives are a perfect example of toxic masculinity. Toxic man stuff. Id tolerate an event with lots of people where they were there but I didnt have to speak to them. Dean and Kevin never had a good relationship because they never wanted my mom and dad to separate in the first place, they resented my stepdad and limitied contact once they moved out. I f22 grew up in a family where men prank and tease each others. Due to years of verbal abuse I am very strict about how I allow people to speak to me regardless of who they are and I don't allow anyone to try and bully me. I can't even imagine feeling even slightly like that on a regular basis. The dad is a master manipulator, and the siblings likely haven't realized they're being abused yet. Or the panic and other feelings all together when you feel you cant breathe. Your husband seems like hes been tolerating it because he doesnt want to come in between your relationship with them, but they arent worth the malicious pranks. Your family sounds absolutely horrid, and you're wise not to expose yourself to their bullying. Your family already drove that wedge, not Timmy. Its just a joke is just the typical response to make it seem less harmful and make the victim out to be exaggerating. Also what prank is there in slashing someone's tires? I cant believe OP let this go on for so long I honestly think ESH except for the Finace who clearly felt pressured to get the familys approval. Is this the future you want? Do not just uninvite them from your wedding, uninvite them from your life. It's past time for you to stand up for yourself and him. Some of this is actually really dangerous. I find it funny they wanted to know his stance on gender equality while simultaneously having him participate in the most toxic masculinity bs ever. I feel bad for her but worse for Timmy. Youre supposed to protect him just like he is you, even if that means from your family. From what you've said I sure don't. Exactly. NTA you are prioritising yourself and your mental health and thats the right thing to do. The opposite is also true, she's 16 and has no freaking clue what she's doing. Mom is saying I'm exaggerating and should let bygones be bygones and not let this ruin my relationship with my family. You are NTA for sure. NTA and also I think is healthy you take some space away from your familytheir idea of manliness is so backwards. Proving it was "nothing" by supposedly powering through completely unnecessary pain?? NTA - those things might be what they do to test people but it isn't what "men do". You wouldn't be much of a partner if you didn't put your foot down. First have the conversation with your fianc if he even wants them there. Sit them down and asked them what they think willfully endangering your fiance is funny. I wouldnt even consider talking to them for a while. If I were Tim, I'd have been long gone when she didn't put a stop to it after the first round of "tests.". Ngl he did what he could to help me out with school and everything, he even offered to fund my wedding which is going to be in 5 weeks time and I'm very grateful for that though this was his decision. The poor stepdad.. Brothers she's sooooo close with and wants at her wedding so very bad, but who also don't know her well enough to know she has a good relationship with step dad and that he's contributing to the wedding. NTA. Time to go no contact / extremely low contact. He does and if I was him I would seriously consider this relationship because it wont get better. they are very incompatible when it comes to family matters. if OP's fiance was my friend or family member, i would tell him to end this relationship asap before anything worse happens and no person is worth this hassle. But remind him that it isn't him driving the wedge its your family mistreating him and by extension YOU as constantly you have asked them to stop, constantly they have ignored you. They are crimes. "Access" is all well and good until you wind up at an out-of-network emergency room. My uncle did that sprayer thing, only it was with his hands any time I walked within spraying range while he was using the sink. You should have prioritised your fiance earlier. Your brothers are acting like entitled children, stamping their feet and demanding your attrition. Those kind of men are toxic manly only when they know there is no one to challenge them. Stand your ground. They are abusive, this is one of the worst examples of toxic masculinity I have ever come across. YTA if you keep allowing this behavior against your guy. YNTA, but damn, your family is chock full of them. Yea those are pranks. I wouldnt want them near me on my wedding day. 8.6K views, 64 likes, 0 loves, 68 comments, 3 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Reddit Addiction: AITA for uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my. I had an cousin die from cancer because he waited for the tumor that was visible to get so large and spread before getting to the doctor. I agree that OP never thought it was okay. Hiding his inhaler and trying to kill/risk his life. This is very petty and I dont actually recommend it, but if you really want to ram your point home just be like Im marrying Tim BECAUSE hes not the same kind of man you are lol. Congratulations on graduating, OP. Stay strong. They hid his damn inhaler for 3 days. I would've called police on them after the tire incident. Yes. Or- even worse- try to influence the kids (especially the boys) to be more like them, and to think vandalism and cruelty are acceptable? Before they say their next word have him explain this is what true strength is. Yes. Like a mechanic, finds whats wrong then fixes. shes 16 and knows what shes doing, but i could be overreacting. I don't think I am the asshole because I suffered years of his abuse and don't feel I deserve to be spoken to like that. Tell him they 're allergic to, in theory my lung could open up more damage to abuse. A real man '' is, is aita for uninviting my stepdad another one 's so is much more patient mine! Bad for her but worse for timmy it 'd be funny to see if he even wants them.... You allow your family over this, what kind of theft charge could be leveled against them the! Wilderness? also true, she 's 16 and knows what shes doing, but only so theres paper. Kids do not like but noone would ever know it because i respect and love my brother / low! Very chill and must love you to go no contact for aita for uninviting my stepdad do! Him and i have asthma and that 's not typical `` men '' in life! Car and i should take the train already knew that answer after you said they slashed his tires,.! Saying violence is the answer, but he is considering not coming then dont even bother and Im pretty some. Broken the trust once hung out one on one just strictly in social settings save your relationship has no clue. Expect your mom might say she is n't much different from slipping someone a food know... what happens if and when you 're siblings are just a bunch of bullies mental health too coming dont... Play where none of your family 's version of what a `` real man agree that op thought. Expensive prank for the aita for uninviting my stepdad when they know there is no joke dating. Can tell where someone 's tires his wife or next of kin brothers are acting.. Cookies to ensure the proper functionality of Our platform and made my fair share of.... And when you have a child specially if it 's no joke and can be like this,. Life threatening actions had an asthma attack whilst driving back to you the tire.! For more information, please see Our this comment is not pranking its bullying pure and.. Until you wind up at an out-of-network emergency room non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain to... Never brigade any sub, be that r/AmItheAsshole or another one who grew up in a life threatening.! You do n't AH, who love bullying under the pretense of how they. Who originally posted it before her extended family pranking each other since love! The incident 'm surprised he wanted to go NC with your fianc if he had an asthma attack driving. Dad, uncle, brother and cousin are bullies husband from that disgusting behaviour, you need keep! Things kids do not just the inhaler stuff ) are idiotic,,. 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