IT MIGHT SOUND SO STRANGE TO YOU BUT IT FEELS LIKE ME WHEN I READ YOURS MY HUSBAND HAS BEING HAVING AFFAIR WITH HIS PERSONAL ASSISTANT FOR ABOUT 3 YEARS NOW AND IT WAS NOT HIM WHO SPILLED THE BEANS IT WAS HER AND WHEN I ASK HE GETS ANGRY AND DENIES IT ALL THE TIME BUT I KNOW IT HAS BEEN HAPPENING THE LYING , WORKING LATE THEY ALWAYS TOGETHER BUYS HIS CLOTHES GOES TO THE CHEMIST TAKES HIS CLOTHES TO THE TAILORS AND BELIEVE ME SHE IS NOTHING TO LOOK AT SHE IS HUGE AND SO OVER WEIGHT AND SHE IS ALWAYS AT OUR HOUSE IM A HAIRDRESSER SO I WORK WEEKENDS SO WHEN I GET HOME SHE WILL BE AT OUR HOUSE TILL LATE IT HAS GOT SO BAD THAT I HAVE BANNED HER FROM OUR HOUSE MY BOYS ALSO DONT LIKE HER IT FEELS LIKE SHE IS HIS SECOND WIFE. Why are you asking me? At that point she will give you the reasons for her suspicions. RECENTLY, A EMPLOYEE WITH TCS IN RALEIGH N.C. has always included me im everythig we r like bestfriends.up untill about a month he says nothihg is going on but i am so sick 2 stomach. I have been married for 3 years. Don't spy. I in therapyAs far as I know the wife still with him, knowing he cheats. after few days i told him why is he doing that to me, beside that he is staying with his son of 8 years how is the boy going to take it when he grow up. Iam too in an uncertain relationship where I have come to believe he is a womaniser. And good men get cheated all around and you fail to see them when you meet them so maybe you should stop blaming nature and men and start figuring out whats wrong with you. I hesitated and the asked her in the hell was he not with her and she didnt know where he was when I was sitting in the parking lot beside both of their vehicles. Then by nightfall, apparently he was tired and more than 2 weeks without sex is unfair and its more unfair to me that he fell asleep on me. I tried to do that however; I found myself getting depressed, moody and becoming someone I refuse to be. just spruce your self up. You stayed despite knowing he spent the night with another woman irrelevant of whether he had sex. You gave him the benefit of the doubt, that was thrown in your face. Do you need to know for sure that he might hurt you worse than he already has? I hope it helps, and welcome your thoughts! Although sex has never been a problem between us. I left him last week. Then I asked him why he went (when before when he went, acted as if he was soooo bored, he even called me from his cell). Within a couple months I heard rumors of an affair between them so I laughed it off but began to pay closer attention after all my job is an investigator. We had many problems but there was always a level if trust that I really didnt question. He even wiped his Ipad from everything you possibly can wipe. We spent many hours talking and spare life stories. Half of my neighbors have known he was cheating for years. ? I use a site called UndercoverAffairs.com and youll find lot of like minded people who are married (like me!) If you need support or encouragement, let me know. They talked and he said he told her that he would stop by when he was working if he could. How do I truly find out whats really going on with him and how he feels about me or is he already telling me? Youve caught him cheating three times. One small thing I can be grateful about. So the kids hear us fight they are well aware of what is going on. Question is I never ever receive any emoji sign from my husband , how can those love emoji are showing on his phone frequently used?? Amen. I caught him several times throughout the marriage and every time he begged me back and said it wouldnt ever happen again. I would sincerely like to thank you for helping me realize that I need to start thinking of what I need in order to be ok, rather than what we needI have also realized that I have been waiting for him to answer me and in actuality, by not answering me and reacting as he has been, he pretty much gave me his answer sometime ago. Your gut is telling you something, and you need to listen to it. 3 months after my son was born i caught my husband in the shower watching porn which is not allowed under my roof and he agreed at the time but now hes constantly lying to me and feels like he is always going behind my back and when i see him in his work place it looks like he stares and flirts with everyone. He gets mad if I bring her up, still denies it, and wont discuss it period. Im 31 been married since I was 16 have 3 kids by him and had my tubes tied because we both agreed we didnt want anymore kids right now and if we decided in the future we wanted more we would do whats needed to concieve again.well now I have 2 stepkids of which one I raise(long story)yes he cheated twice with 2 different women lot of drama crazy females litterally.my mom has been married to 3 different men and I made a vow I would only get married once in my life as he knew divorce has never been an option in my book.marriage was one thing I was gonna do right.well we finally started buying our own place 3 years ago and hes been amazing totally changed for the better. He finally fessed up that they (of course) had slept together and itd been going on for over a year. First time i found out I forgave him he continued to do it behind my back, when i was pregnant he continued we went to the doc and found out i was pregnant i thought he was texting my mom but he was texting the other women and he would call the other women when i left for work or not when Im not around. He doesnt take as much time for me as he could. My husband was the best coz he slept with this women on the day my daughter was really ill in hospital (it was the first u time she had become this ill) I was in another country and it was 2days after my daughters birthday. Woman up and have more self respect for yourself than you do. Everything listed about if a man is a cheater is true about my husband. Because i dont want to catch anything n i love him but i dont want to keep living like this. I think he had an affair with the women for these reasons: 1. It sounds like youre very confused and upset I know I would be! Dont just jump to I dont know what to do. Instead, take 15 minutes and ask your body and soul what you should do. You have received a very generous and kind response and recommendation from a wife of a cheater which is to run from this married man. I cant take it anymore. All the proof was on his credit card from work. He cannot tell the truth because the truth will expose him as someone not regarded as honest or honorable. His dreams are never happy he says. Eveneeeeven if the man were in any way shape or form justified in your mind to have an affair, there is no justification for someone cheating. that many? Hmmm , i find bs. He didnt return any of my calls. Once hes gone, youll be free to cry and explore your anger and sadness as much as you want. Lately ive felt like he hasnt done anything tht he is just talking to these girls but i dont want to let my self be luled into false sense of security. :). He then says she must just want him and is trying to ruin him and that hes going to lose his job when he goes back to work. Let me know. Good luck xx. Jeeze am I making things to easy for him? I pray for wisdom, peace, hope, healing, and courage. I found out by placing a tape recorder in the house and in his vehicle. When I clicked on the mouse of the computer, to my total shock and disgust, there was a live porn chat on my screen. We are still together and sometimes I can see that he is a better man. Laurie, youre quite sharp. Really?). > but anyway we did manage to survive all the tough times of our marriage. I also saw she hadnt responded to him. Ive caught him pointing his camera at me at my worst moments begging him to stop this nonsense just so she can see me crying and reaching out to him while he in return blames me and becomes very abusive mentally and physically and verbally and then walk away laughing with her thinking this is funny. I was truly taken advantage of at a very vulnerable time, he added a LOT more severe emotional pain & acted like he could care less about hurting me worse! I just hate that I dont trust him, but Ive always felt he needs attention from other women, and I feel like Im just not enough. Well i went to counseling, tried to turn other cheek, live what bible says about forgiveness ,we even MOVED out of state. Be happy. No sex. Hi Im 28weeks pregnant and my husband and I have not slept in the same bed or even same room for months. Its normal to feel confused and get mixed messages from your instincts, because this is an extremely emotional subject. I have been with him for Two years. If you think your husband is cheating, youre picking up on important subconscious clues. But saying that Monogamy is unnatural for all humans cant be factual. He said I already told you I just didnt want to cause my friend to loose his girl friend I was trying to help. If you dont leave this sh**tbag now he will worm his little way right back into you heart through his disgraceful lies he has already done this once before and you were kind enough to give him another chance 2 chances is more than enough! He cheated on me back in may. Than I forgot about it. I write articles on marriage success and I believe you shouldnt be with a man whom you suspect of having an affair and then lying about it. then we have to live apart for a while beacuse he is selling his house .. i have our daughter and i had a bad labour felt ill for weeks then i find out my daughter has a heart problem and has to have major heart surgery at 7 weeks old . He never did. If you have tried and cant get through, see if you can get him to marriage counseling. Im constantly being harrassed when I do go out. He saw a conversation i had with on of my guy friends about smoking and took my phone away from me and told me i wasnt allowed to speak to him ever again or else he will take me to court to get custody of our child. I cried and cried. One of the problems with cheating is that its a slippery slope. I day later my husband had a pass code on his phone. If any of this sounds familiar, your answer may lie within. I just want some proof so that I can feel that I have made a decision on facts. I Dont really know what to do. What is so nuts about it is that the strong women that we are is crushed because we expect these weak, dick-led prats to give us the truth!!! One time, it ws just the beginning of us, I saw a log book in the marine house, where all the marines had to write down their guests. I wonder how your wife feels about your cheating on her, and telling her about it. We dont live together, but (two times ) when were talking on the phone while everything is so crazily amazing his phone rang and he did not pick up the phone, which is odd since sometimes he does. Mabel i would be moving on with my life. He alluded that he is cheating on me again, and I just feel sick. while drinking and talking he would blame me for his drinking, he tolde he would leave if i didnt change me, when i felt he needed to change sum things as well. Also - wrapping legs around leg of chair is a sign of restraint, of holding back, and not being honest. I encourage you to work through your feelings with a counselor. I confronted him but he says that the lady asked him to text that so that she could make his boyfriend jealous, I dont believe this at all, on top of that he has been sex texting with his ex girlfriend telling her how he love her p***y and would like to cum in actually he asked her if she can preserve herself for him until she come back, I feel devastated, he does not admit to it, all he says I know you dont believe me but that the truth. ), Thanks again for helping me in making a difference in the life of someone I never really thought about and finally I have.ME <3. I regret my actions now and wish I'd fought harder, but my mental health was suffering so it was easier to walk away. I have been with my husband for 4 yrs.. We dated for a year before we got married. He then got angry and said he was not like his father, who had left his mother for another woman. If you thinkyour husband is cheating on you, you may be picking up on subconscious clues that he is having an affair. Men who are risk-takers or easily sexually aroused are also more likely to wander; for women, relationship issues are stronger predictors of unfaithfulness. But the more I hold it in the more it would make me loose my mind. i stayed with my byfriend with no choice, i cried everyday. If it was a "one-off," possibly fuelled by alcohol, Winter suggests . John. I knew my husband for 6 yrs before marriage. I was right but he said he needed to get away from everything. How does he expect me to believe this story? Now while I was pregnant with our 3rd child, I didnt have an ounce of libido. But he also deny, what should i do? How do I approach him about this without causing problems in my own marriage? It brought back so much pain that I was trying to recover from. What did you do are you still involved? Yes man cheat and you can tell. Some of the things that he has done are repeat things like washing his clothes when gets home, he never washes his own clothes ever. And like it was said, pay attention to body language. 1 man, 1 woman, both had witnessed rubbing, hugging, her leaning on him, playing games on a computer together in a room alone and flirting all the time. The book is very inexpensive, short, and really easy to understand! The sad part is I want my kids to have a mommy and daddy under one roof. I know he was with other people before we got together and he says she is a stalker but I talked to her and she knew everything about him. He says he has no idea how they got there. Finding out she was having sex with him, just before our wedding and again after we got back from our honeymoon. The problem I have is that he says he can tell if I have sex with someone else. Are You Jealous When Your Boyfriend Talks to His Ex? I fully explained what I expected from our relationship and the balance of friends and romance time. We hung out that night and became friends. My best advice is to divorce him. He PREYS on vulnerable woman like myself. i believe you got parents both meaning you and your husband, did you bring this matter to the elder espcially the divorce issue. The other night my husband and I were leaving a party,he of coarse had too much too drink and I dont drink at all.He instantly started calling me names,telling me how fun Im not and how he cant stand me.I didnt say anything thinking he would settle down.But seems that made him more angry.Then he blurted out that he cheats on me all the time and stuck his fist through the window.Well then he tried to take the comment back by saying nobody would want him.I would not find it hard to believe if he were haveing a fling or some one nighters as I would think.He goes to the bar alot with his buddies and sometimes I dont see him until morning.I just need to know if he is and figure out how to catch him in the actI have checked his phone and cant find a thing.I am stummped on this one.But I also have been emotionally abused by him for the past 18 years it may be time for me to just give up. A married man took advantage of me 3 year ago. If I post on his page he either deletes it or ignores it (especially if its something like I love you). But thankfully I have already ideas about cheating! It seems to me the unpaid labour of a year was an affair. I never would be type to look through his phone or anyones but I would do it to annoy him as he would look at mine as he knew what he had done and was always projecting his shortcoming. I have tried to talk to him about it, but what began as a question, became an accusation according to him. Sometimes I say I understand how a lady who has an abusive husband stay and the reason why is because they think it will never happen again now his not abusive but a cheater and i still here and I can kick my own ass for that because I dont want my son to think when he grows up its ok to treat a LADY any kind of way and I dont want my daughter to feel like she can take any kind of shit from a MAN. Amy, thank you for being a voice of encouragement! Your email address will not be published. But he constantly lies to me and i know he does even when i catch him and he knows he has been caught he finds away to turn it around and make me look like the bad guy. My husband denied it, said I was crazy and he would never cheat on me. 6 Tips, When Your Life Feels Empty and Meaningless Without Love. I than went into my living room and sat on the couch and put the empty history and the porn chat together and started to cry like ive never cried before. What does your gut tell you about his behavior? My doctor and a psychologist has told me to divorce and move on that I will never let it go. You two should marry quickly after you both pray for forgiveness! He also is defending her and said I dont know her so I can call her a home wrecking whore. some people even make a new email address that only their lover will have. I cant tell you if you should leave him, or if hes cheating. She started work and it was all good except he started to care a lot more about his apperence. I had warned him twice about their relationship and told him it made me uncomfortable and to back off, he didnt. Love = Woman. Problem is, I can trust him, which will take time I know. He said that she had friend requested him and then he changed his story and said that he had requested her to get more coins for a game.. To me the Facebook friendship never made any sense. My husband travels for work and at the moment is traveling more because of a project he was nominated to be in. Hes only told me he loves me twice in the entire year and it was more at the 3 month mark, not so much anytime in the past few months. May you find wisdom, hope, and guidance. Trust your gut instincts, even though the answer might be painful. I have the gut feeling, but he has a quick tongue and am not sure what to believe. I gave rules to them both, no hanging out all day at work, no lunches, no touching, no texts or calls, both agreed, it only lasted a week and it was back to the same except calls and texts. Thanks for sharing this article. check his phone log, his emails, text messages. We went to marriage counseling for 2 months, he started to believe in God, would pray together.but has since stopped. Your husband is a loser, just like my manipulative ex was! Be strong and show these men why they need women. Tomorrow I will not cry over him ever again, How to Forgive Your Husband for Cheating While He Was Alive, 11 Undeniable Signs of Cheating Wisdom After the Affair, The Truth about Cheating: Why Men Stray and What You Can Do to Prevent It, Is He Lying to You? I LET THEM because I thought I was wrong!! So I had HUGE suspicions after that. How cruel I thought! But, it doesnt seem to be enough. He stayed at a friend ( another ex) who was going through a divorce. You seem like a kind trusting person. Wow Christine. Reason 4: They want to protect you. Science has proven that genetic diversity is healthier within biological populations. If your husband is best friends with a woman and leaving you out of the relationship, it may be an emotional affair. I was very upset with my husband but he keeps telling me nothing happened whenever i bring it up but the story always changes. It kills me, it pains me.but i cant continue to wallow in this pain of waiting for the man i felll in love with 19 years ago to come back to me. I have a very strong feeling my husband is talking to someone(a woman engineer he works closely with?) My husband is in Mexico hes been there these past 3yrs now. It helps to know other women are going through the same thing. Then a girls page. That why he would have all them girls on his skype. 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