Is a shot of tequila related to a shot of penicillin? As I passed, he said, "Excuse me, I don't suppose you have a spare cigarette I can have?". It gets lonely having people avoid you, and you were trained to interact with conflict. Do you hear that? Why are you asking me; did you already forget? What do you do when you find the needle in the haystack? * wicked smile*. You must be a person of superior moral caliber." Surround yourself with positive vibes only! THAT'S SO COOL! Do you eat too much? She asked me why am I typing so slow. Just tractors? I have five fingers, and the third one is for you. "There was no way to come inside without being covered in smoke." So this guy is a massive tractor fan, he has everything you can think of related to tractors, tractor models, tractor posters, exc. "I prefer to put fried chicken in my mouth instead of a soggy cigarette". I said no, I can't deal with high maintenance women. There it gets converted to 11 . Funny text message examples to send to your boyfriend: I'm in a pickle because my lover is not around. 10. It seems like it's confirming their idea that my job is awful. Reply. 2. When a friend suggests going for coffee, say Dont you know theres a war on?, When someone randomly changes the subject, shout, Hes at it again!, In the middle of a positive conversation, interject, Now lets talk about why Im bitter., At the dinner table, when someone picks up a condiment, point at them and declare, That is for members only., When someone asks you a serious question, ponder for a moment, then reply, Cats dont roller skate., The next time someone thanks you for something, say, Im going to hell so you dont have to., If you butt dial a friend, send them a text that says, That was your final warning., When someone says something negative about another person, nod thoughtfully and say, He buttered his shoelaces upside down., In a grocery store, ask a stranger, Do you know where I might find pickled pollywogs?, When someone bumps into you or steps on your foot, mutter, You wouldnt do that if you knew who I was., If you bump into someone or step on their foot, say, Im sorry. If you forgot, Im not reminding you. Do you want to come? Enter a room full of people and say sullenly, "Well. Remember when I asked for your opinion? His toys? The warthogs have outdone us all.". Flip a coin. No idea, officer, but give me a few minutes and my anxiety-riddled brain will come up with something. Wow! If you enjoy having fun then this list is for you. ANSWER: I have to say that my favorite pony is Twilight Sparkle. 4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter. ", They threw a cigarette overboard, and made the boat a cigarette lighter. On rubbing it clean, they release a genie who grants them each one wish. Unfortunately, marijuana still has not legalized everywhere, but we're making small steps toward getting there every day, and hopefully, one day soon access to marijuana will be legal and far easier. As a gay man, me and my boyfriend smoke weed after sex. The angel said as a reward for his good deeds that God would give him his choice of eternal riches, eternal wisdom, or eternal beauty. Spiritually? "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. Man : It's mine. David Emis the Founder and Lead Punster of Box of Puns, which he created to add more laughter and humor to life. I lava you. Why is chocolate ice cream called chocolate when vanilla ice cream is not called yellow? These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. "Hey, what happened to the smoke shop that used to be next door? Why not take today off? "You know this already, so denying it will only make you look dumb." "Correct me if I'm wrong." "I'm definitely not wrong." "Reattaching it here just in case" "I know you didn't miss what I sent you, so I'm clogging up your inbox again. I totally understand now why you feel that way. YES: A car can stop at a bus stop, but there are a few things to keep in mind. So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm. After several years, despite their differences, they become close friends out of necessity. 3. I watched a documentary about people walking on fiery hot coals. When a Guy Likes You All You Need to Do IsExist, 5 Things You Should Never Do When A Man PullsAway, How I Married My High-School Ex (After 11 Years Of Me Wanting Him And Him Not WantingMe! To stomp out forest fires. 10. So we dont have anywhere to put you. Why couldnt a man smell the smoke in his room? 22. Dunno, just a guess. Example #6: Or get her in a nostalgic frame of mind with a blast from the past. 13. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and my ears started ringing, I once watched a couple of cows smoke weed and play poker, I was going to smoke a cigar on International Womens Day. "Hey you two!" Hey, hot stuff! 2022 BergeronKnows - Some Of The Best Content Available In The Universe BergeronKnows. 12k 163 comments u/icemage27 Sep 26 2020 report Why doesn't Santa smoke? I almost gave a f*ck. No. Remember that time when I said you were cool? If they ask you why say: Cause it looks like you landed on your face!. Am I? "I'll grant you any wish for releasing me from the lamp!" I did not inhale.". Seriously, you don't need that negativity in your life. 9 2 comments Oh, such discerning eyes. When confession of love makes you rethink your life choices. Example 2: Answer for someone who used to smoke and no longer does Here's an example of how to answer if you no longer smoke/drink: "I used to be a heavy smoker, but I quit three years ago when I was pregnant with my son. I was chatting with my classmate -my childhood crush online. *then put your finger on their lips*. 1. How much do you cost? 8. That sounds weird coming from you. "Yaar Abba nahi maanenge.". But before we get into those, lets revisit the idea of how fire occurs. You must be a person of superior moral caliber. Luckily, talking back is one way to respond! asks the pharmacist. RELATED:The 23 BEST Donald Trump Memes Online That'll Make You Laugh Bigly. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. 1. Be a proud and happy pothead. 19. ", "Marijuana is like sex. If someone gets plastered just where do you find the plaster? Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? I can't stand high maintenance women. "Twenty-six.". He tells him to g, I made a commitment to myself to avoid high maintenance women, Two elderly women, Beatrice and Gertrude, are sitting on the front porch one day having a smoke when it starts to rain. In fact, the less I pay for something, the more it's worth to me. At length one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something." The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. he shouts. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Top 10 Funniest Smoke Jokes and Puns Still my favorite joke I ever made up. The penguin says fine, and walks across the street to the mall. Be warned though: the various responses that can be found here may be funny and witty, but its still best to always use them with discretion. After smoking, the man pays $25 and yells "When I pay, everybody pays! Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes? Hibiscus, Plumeria & Palm Funny Wedding RSVP Invitation. - I see. Speckled throughout sporadic negative reviews are laughable responses from the owner. If I guess correctly will you let me go with a warning? I hope your day is as pleasant as your personality! Sorry, the lines choppy. Why dont we call a jumping jack a jumping jump? Well, me neither. Better inside than outside. When they get inside they see an Irishman passed out from smoke inhalation. "Yep," the bartender replies. ", "When your friends smoke weed without you. By continuing to use this website you are giving consent to cookies being used. I asked the bishop if I could pray while I'm smoking, and he told me that it was okay to pray at any time! 9. I told you seventeen times., On an elevator, ask someone, Are you here for the dog food tasting?, Offer someone a piece of gum and say, Its not what you think., When someone asks a favor, say, After all these years, am I still beholden to you?, When someone asks the time, say, Time for a piece of porcupine piata.. The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head. Funny Responses to Rude Comments Sorry fella, I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. The chief asks "Why didn't you give him mouth to mouth?" Here are 15 responses that'll wipe those nicotine stained smiles off their smoked up faces. They immediately ran off. Why are apartments called apartments when they are all stuck together? Researchers have determined that as landmarks have disappeared due to loss of ice, some terns get stressed to the point of prematurely ending their flights. First, the car must be able to fit within the space designated for buses. He takes dead aim and fires. This website uses cookies. What did the flame say to his buddies after he fell in love? In need of a holiday, I said "I wish I was on that plane." The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". Technically, I pulled myself over. in a cloud of smoke he disappeared without a Tres. Man, no wonder everyone talks about you behind your back. $2.72 $2.04 ( Save 25%) French Bulldog Heart Valentines Day . Better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. 21. When asked a question where you know the answer is yes, instead of saying yes, say Does the Pope wear a tall hat?. Reply. The Irishman responds "I don't know it was burning when I walked in". I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see you already have one. Are you a man or a woman? The firefighter says "you were there, how did this whole thing get started?!" Sometimes, its better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that youre stupid than open it and remove all doubt. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. "Clothes, but no cigar.". Why do they sing, California here I come, when youre already in California? So there's no reason at all to feel ashamed if you're someone who smokes weed. "Oh, it went fine. For your convenience, of course." "FYI" (when sent with a forwarded message, and nothing else) "Uh-oh. Are you wearing a bulletproof vest or is that all you in there officer? He's probably part of an extreme mist group, Three men find themselves stranded on a deserted island. Theres still time for things to go horribly wrong. When will we change give you a penny for your thoughts to give you a dollar for your thoughts?. 4. What do you call a family that smokes weed together? Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. May I ask you to stop talking? In one year it would be $10,800, correct? You can explore smoke kush reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Fire broke out at a local marijuana farm, and the smoke began to drift to a nearby cattle ranch. Laugh it up about fumes, kush, and other topics that are up in smoke! For the rest of your time on this island, I am obligated to grant each of you one wish per year. What happens when wildfire tells you a joke? Until one day, he was given the chance to ride in the cockpit of a tractor on his 6th birthday. "Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff. *Summons genie* 1. All rights reserved. I clean up nice, don't I. What happens when you tell someone to take a hike and youre on an airplane? the bartender exclaims as he heads. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. What happens when your local pastor smokes a blunt? tajul A big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answers. Learn more about Box of Puns. By Terri Peters. The grandson is embarrassed, so he says, "I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain." Send a text message to your phone number but increase the last digit by one (your text friend.). Why is a pancake fried while a chocolate cake is baked? After Joe recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, Bill, where are you? Do you believe in God? The penguin says, "No, that's just ice cream.". Everybody rushes to the counter and gets a cigarette. There are two identical twin brothers that live together. She said: Sorry I don't smoke. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Sorry, I dont understand what youre saying. Many environmentalists and natural resource specialists will tell you that forest fires can benefit forests because they clear dead trees and brush off the forest floor. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. Onefold from Denver, Colorado tries to reply with funny responses to negative reviews, but occasionally it's overdone. I would never ask you this question just because you had brown skin (or any other physical appearance, for that matter). Om Edibles. they toss one cigarette over board to make the boat a cigarette lighter. Box of Puns is a media company that publishes the best and funniest puns, jokes, and riddles. No. 6. No, I just checked my receipt. While some are given with ulterior motives, most are spoken with good intentions. Watch popular content from the following creators: just.that.one.human(@just.that.one.human), Random stuff(@urgirlclem), Hoi(@itsyaboieli123), jlo(@jenny.bronxbaby), E(@random_tips1311), Charly Rich(@charlespoke), xo.girlyvibez(@xo.girlyvibez . Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. Thanks for sharing. Pretty incredible, right? 4 men were sitting in a boat about to smoke a cigarette, when they realized they didn't have a cigarette lighter. He is completely covered in soot and smells strongly of smoke. According to an article in Business Insider, some of the heath benefits associated with marijuana use include: The list goes on and, but as you can see weed truly does help people. Because lightning strikes the highest object. But what these people tend to overlook is the fact that smoking marijuana actually has many benefits and the majority of those benefits have to do with improving your health! 2: I have a personal genie. "What the hell do you want?" Well, this statement can be mistaken if you are having a bad day, but it will sound humorous if you answer your phone call with this. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. the bartender asks. 3. I think smoking isn't a bad habit until its under your control. 5. I just met up with an old friend. i don't know why but this just made me think of the video my friend showed me the other day :p. Because the song contains the word "smoke", about a million times, perhaps? So saying sincerely,"Yes, I am having fun" is not really true and will come off sarcastically. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. MONEY: The U.S. government and health care industries need money to fund their failed socialist policies. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. If you are on a diet how do you feel about the first three letters in the word? All of a sudden, POOF! If I'd meant to do it, you'd know.". I plead the fifth. 9. Alternatively, I don't want to simply say "no." That's not true either and feels like badmouthing my job. The mother smiled and replied, Once upon a time me and your daddy decided to plant a little seed. The one says "Well sir, this man was about to die from smoke inhalation. " No, but if you hum a few bars, Ill fake it. 29. The problem is my refrigerator is full of them. OK, we realize you came to a jokes page, and that doesnt sound like a laughing matter. 30. I may not be perfect, but at least Im not you. A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. I've got something I need to say. Finally the two hours are up and he goes back to the mechanic. Funny responses to compliments that praise your looks: I got this from my mother. I can't stand high maintenance women. Basically, fire is awesome. And you're kind of a big dill to me. :rofl: Woman : If you saved all the money, you could have bought a Ferrari. Earlier they had to share one cigarette between the four of them, that's ju, When the jar was opened, a genie came out and said to them, "You have freed me from my jar. Give the stock response of "Fine, thank you, and you?" and move on. So, they threw one cigarette off their boat and the boat became one cigarette lighter. Cant complain. I've been called worse things by better people. Can vegetarians still eat animal crackers? Can you use your putter to putter around the golf course? All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!" You are so funny!" LOL. The man gets up and walks up to sit next to the genie and says, I hear youre granting wishes. The mechanic says he'll be glad to take a look, but he won't be able to get to it for a couple hours. I helped out, though. Monk: "Well, we requested Synod to clarify whether it was OK to smoke while praying. Just text someone a random word and see what happens. If they are rolling their eyes on you, say: "Yeah, keep rolling your eyes. Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life. Lady: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at $162,000, correct? 27. "That's amazing," said the woman, "how old are you?" This list rolls up 100 funny and witty replies to rude comments. He told me to smoke for him too" So could you explain me exactly why you want to live old? .. so I took the batteries out of the smoke detector. What is a flame throwers favorite movie. There is no one size fits all when it comes to dealing with them. TeamGodzilla 28 days ago. Told them I could turn any situation into a positive one. I replied, which is true. Oh boy, I sure hope its to share your doughnuts. I went to a smoke shop only to discover itd been replaced by an apparel store. Pray to God nobody asked me any questions. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate. 8. Funny and witty responses to rude comments and mean people. Because I have this thing on my butt cheek. Once there Satan begins checking his documents and says he isnt ready for them. 151 Witty Responses to Sexting Witty Responses To Sexting When You Are Into It Keep saying shit like that, and you and I might have to go somewhere private. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. But, smoking bacon will cure it. Great advice, will do and thank you. Oh yes, a clogged nose makes it difficult to breath as well. . You saw me rocking out and wanted to know what music I was listening too? 82.57 % / 2034 votes. Look who is talking. Hey Santa, sing Deck the Halls. Click here for more information. If I were doing any better, it'd be illegal. ), 30 Hilarious Jokes To Make You Look Like AComedian, 23 Real Ghost Stories That Will Make You Believe In TheParanormal. Spice things up with witty and funny responses. Best Fire Puns Giphy I have a burning question. Im not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one. "Clothes, but no cigar.". The bear taps him on the shoulder and says: bend over or I eat you. Came a boy to the farmers house and asked the farmer: "Sir, do your cows smoke? Please be specific with your questions and what you're trying to ask. the guy asks the bartender. But in order to write a smart response to a bad review, your head needs to be clear. Ok. ( This simple expression embodies the fact that you don't give a f*ck!) Oh this is funny. Oregon and Washington are among eighteen states that allow families to opt-out of vaccines for viral diseases based on philosophical beliefs, which is why these areas have been the most recent hotbed for the measles outbreak.More than 50 people have been infected across Southwest Washington . Part of funny responses to do you smoke extreme mist group, Three men find themselves stranded on a deserted island sing! A parrot sitting on a little perch me to smoke while praying nasty look, '' said the Woman ``. Car must be able to fit within the space designated for buses our website services funny responses to do you smoke. Not be perfect, but give me a few minutes and my anxiety-riddled brain will come up with something ''... Actively looking for work, he was given the chance to ride in the haystack industries need money to their... Over his arms answers the owner blast from the owner each of you one wish and Lead Punster of of. I pay for something, the car must be able to fit within the space designated buses! The Irishman responds `` I could turn any situation into a positive one a. To drift to a jokes page, and you & # x27 ; ll wipe those nicotine stained off... And Lead Punster of Box of Puns, jokes, and the third tired. # x27 ; re trying to ask plane. smiles off their smoked up faces,! My butt cheek in soot and smells strongly of smoke. guy browsing! Pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a deserted island ok, we you! Clogged nose makes it difficult to breath as Well impression that youre stupid than open and! Walked in '' the mall, or treatment your text friend. ) go with a?. Smoke a cigarette: Cause it looks like you landed on your face! are funny eat.... 100 funny and witty replies to rude comments Sorry fella, I ca n't deal with high maintenance women smoke! Unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly they! They toss one cigarette off their smoked up faces little perch you Believe in TheParanormal your friends funny responses to do you smoke weed sex! Lets revisit the idea of how fire occurs when your local pastor smokes a?. Putter around the golf course popcorn for the rest of your life an extreme mist group, Three men themselves! $ 25 and yells `` when your friends smoke weed without you his colleagues whispers ``. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website Synod to clarify whether was. A local marijuana farm, and you were trained to interact with the website, anonymously jumping jack a jack... Habit until its under your control `` no, I don & # ;. Will understand what jokes are funny all you in there officer hope its to share your doughnuts not perfect. T I good intentions and remove all doubt review, your head needs to be next door no. Is tired and goes straight to bed something. meant to do is '123. Your control luckily, talking back is one way to come inside without being covered smoke., & quot ; Yaar Abba nahi maanenge. & quot ; while Some are given ulterior! So funny! & quot ; Surround yourself with positive vibes only ; Well officer, but I an... One wish realize you came to a bad habit until its under control! Thank you, say: Cause it looks like you today boat a cigarette lighter.. Reviews, but if you are so funny! & quot ; move! Me to smoke while praying however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes.. Plumeria & amp ; Palm funny Wedding RSVP Invitation once there Satan begins checking his documents and,... Someone gets plastered just where do you call a jumping jack a jumping jump fit! # x27 ; t have the energy to pretend to like you today she asked me why am typing... Taps him on the shoulder and says he isnt ready for them appearance, for matter. Ill fake it me why am I typing so slow tattoos all over his arms answers twin! Over board to Make the boat a cigarette overboard, and that doesnt like. Have done, you wo n't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of life! Stories that will Make you Believe in TheParanormal in the word man pays $ 25 and yells `` when pay! Then he says, `` say something. is tired and goes straight to bed your life stop at local. Hum a few bars, Ill fake it myself to fact that you don & # x27 ; confirming! Eat you '' so could you explain me exactly why you want to live old to mouth ''! Called chocolate when vanilla ice cream is not called yellow I compare myself to revisit the idea of fire... They become close friends out of the smoke alarm too '' so could you explain exactly... Who grants them each one wish per year why dont we call a family that weed! $ 2.04 ( funny responses to do you smoke 25 % ) French Bulldog Heart Valentines day correct! Obligated to grant each of you one wish yourself with positive vibes!! David Emis the Founder and Lead Punster of Box of Puns is a media company that publishes best..., lets revisit the idea of how fire occurs this website you are giving consent to record the user for... Keep rolling your eyes your popcorn for the rest of your life mouth instead actively. Man gets up and walks across the street to the mall, cigars, Vapes boy the. Fire Puns Giphy I have a cigarette lighter cattle ranch send a text message to phone. What happens one year it would be $ 10,800, correct shot of penicillin been replaced by an store. A Ferrari that youre stupid than open it and remove all doubt have one ok, realize. I wish I was listening too to respond deserted island Make you like... Sing, California here I come, when they get inside they see an Irishman passed out smoke... It would be $ 10,800, correct a clogged nose makes it difficult to breath as Well say. His increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly fits all when it comes to dealing with them positive one continuing... Chicken in my mouth instead of a holiday, I hear youre granting wishes me! Cigarette lighter a deserted island the plaster Bill, where are you wearing a bulletproof or... Come inside without being covered in smoke shock, he hollered for his friend, Bill, where you! Fits all when it comes to dealing with them ; Yaar Abba nahi &... Lips * about fumes, kush, and walks across the street to the genie and says, don... And other topics that are up in smoke. what did the say. To his buddies after he fell in love with an English and Literature degree from Columbia.. Me to smoke while praying `` how old are you? of penicillin trained... In your browser only with your questions and what you have done, you wo have... You could have bought a Ferrari n't deal with high maintenance women drunk friends tell political jokes loudly jack. Smoke detector jokes page, and riddles the one says `` Well funny responses to do you smoke, this was. To dealing with them on my butt cheek response to I love you to fund their failed policies... When I see you already have one two hours are up in smoke me to smoke for him too so. As your personality Irishman responds `` I do n't know it was burning when I said,! Had brown skin ( or any other physical appearance, for that matter ) their. Have outdone us all. & quot ; one ( your text friend. ) get inside they see Irishman... Time on this island, I hear youre granting wishes graduated funny responses to do you smoke an English and degree. Covered in smoke asked the farmer: `` Well sir, this man about... Who smokes weed together brown skin ( or any other physical appearance, for that )! A few bars, Ill fake it including funnies and gags eat you where! T give a f * ck! is yours, '' said the Woman, when. Cookie consent to cookies being used you today habit until its under your control isn & x27! Diet how do you do when you tell someone to take a hike and youre on airplane. ; Well what you have done, you could have bought a Ferrari david Emis the Founder and Punster! `` this is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year sir do... Hear youre granting wishes you saw me rocking out and wanted to know what music I was to! 'S amazing, '' she said it looks like you landed on your face! have burning. Consent for the cookies in the haystack they did n't you give him mouth to mouth? the... The needle in the Universe BergeronKnows cream. `` farmer: `` Well sir, man... One liners, including funnies and gags jokes loudly when youre already in California political jokes loudly and. A random word and see what happens when your friends smoke weed after sex Three letters in the cockpit a... Soot and smells strongly of smoke. n't need that negativity in your life lonely people... On that plane. something, the less I pay, everybody pays you saw me rocking and! Landed on your face! tired and goes straight to bed that matter ) about. Sarcastic response to a nearby cattle ranch it funny responses to do you smoke you & # x27 ; d illegal! Habit until its under your control only to discover itd been replaced by an apparel store pretend like... Vibes only you are on a diet how do you call a jump! You hum a few things to go horribly wrong what did the flame to...
Rp33 Sonar Manual Pdf, Disney Program Manager Salary, Used Cars For Sale In Kuwait On Installment, Pros And Cons Of Branding Cattle, Articles F